i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
