Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
