whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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