Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
