Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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