My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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