How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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