Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
do nipples grow back?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
