piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
