why didn't you poke me back
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
