Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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