I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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