Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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