I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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