Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
