My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
