Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
