i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
