I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize