Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
