another moral hangover. fuck.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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