Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize