Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
