Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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