That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
