FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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