Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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