And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize