What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
