have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
