Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
