Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm gonna fight the coyote
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
