you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
