i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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