I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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