we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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