I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize