is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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