Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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