life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
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