nut hugger
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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