Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Just high enough for therapy.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize