apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just gargled with NyQuil
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
