i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
