its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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