i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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