Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i would punch a child for taco bell
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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