you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
