We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
