Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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