And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
did i walk over a car last night?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm too high and old for this...
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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