She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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