i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i just google imaged poop.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
