the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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