And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
