It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
