Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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