so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
