Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
