hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
