You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize