I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My breasts were aching with rage.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
