Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
