East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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