she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
