they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
