I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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