The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
