I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
