Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My vagina is very pro this idea
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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